Life in the Big Green House

Wings to Fly: Part 1

2010-06-05T19:03:00.001-07:00

I've started this post several times, but it never quite comes out right. I just read a blog that totally hit home with me and now I feel I must say what's been going on. The past year has been one of constant change including National Board Certification, a major authorship, therapy, an awakening, three baptisms, and an affair.

My wife is obsessed with cheats and divorces. She reads up on Al and Tipper. She was taken over by the Tiger Woods issues and devastated about Melissa and Tammy. It's something that has come closer to home than either of us could have ever imagined.

A year ago I awoke one day feeling very smothered in my 10 year relationship. Had I not been "allowed" to have outside activities and friends, or had I decided that for myself...to be the peacemaker? I found a therapist, "That-Ralph-I-Hate". Bridget agreed to go with me "for support". Turns out we both have a LOT of issues. We couldn't really let on about much of what we were going through because we had to be "models" for other lesbian couples with children. Unfortunately, we would have been better off knowing that much of what we were going through was not unusual or so terribly wrong.

I cannot even describe the gut-wrenching feeling of feeling so separated from the one person I wanted to spend my whole life with. I was one of those people who would sit in the break room at work and in such disgust would hear about some celebrity affair and go off about how I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me. Hell no! I was the person who would NEVER cheat and was as faithful as the day is long. And then I found myself flat-dab in the middle of my own poor choices and an affair.

In my own defense I have to say that this was not a physical affair, but an emotional one. In my spouses defense, I realize with more certainty than anyone can ever know, that an affair is an affair emotional or otherwise. The weird thing is, I wasn't fully aware that it was happening. Bridget was. As we spent the year truly exploring our own selves as separate beings (yes, lesbian couples CAN exist with separate interests and tastes as two separate people who happen to be in love), we walked in opposite directions for what seemed like an eternity. I had this vision that we had started off standing side-by-side on the banks of a lake, but had begun walking in opposite directions. I would wake up in the night from a dream where I could see Bridget on the other side of the lake. We could see each other, but we weren't together. It scared the hell out of me. I began to confide in a co-worker things that I was going through. It was great to have someone who was such an excellent listener and then our boundaries became too vague. I would question my co-worker about what we (I) was feeling and each time I was assured that we were friends and nothing more. I would believe her. Until I no longer could. When I finally realized what was happening, I put an end to it. Immediately. I told her that this type of "friendship" was not okay and that I was going to establish firm boundaries: No texting, she was not to come by my classroom in the mornings, I was going to stop eating lunch with her and start eating lunch in the lounge with other teachers, no more after-school hang-out time. All I wanted was to be drawn closer to my family. I COULD NOT devastate the lives of my children or my wife. I would not do it. I state all of this as if the affair was very matter-of-factly ended. It was extremely painful--especially at first.

Initially I thought I would just keep it to myself--no reason to hurt Bridget any more than I already had. But Bridget was my friend and I felt that whether she wanted to stay with me after all of this was a decision she should have the right to make. I told her. Everything. Why she decided to work with me through this I will never know. I cannot even say that I could have done the same. I honestly didn't expect her to and I was braced for the absolute worst--a divorce.

I had discussed with That-Ralp-I-Hate--and by "discuss" I mean bawled uncontrollably--about what had developed emotionally between my co-worker and me. He told me of course I developed feelings for her, that's what happens when you open up and share with someone. I knew that's what I had to do to start rebuilding my relationship with Bridget. For well over a year I had shut her out emotionally. I didn't open up about anything. And everything I had begun to explore about myself, I was sharing with my co-worker, not with my wife. I had to forcefully envision myself sitting in a door jam and with all my might hold the door open so that I could open up to Bridget. I think it has worked. I have fallen more in love with her now than I ever was before. The changes she has made have been monumental. She is a different person--a better person. And I must say, learning to skate and playing roller derby has made her my own personal hottie!

Our journey is only beginning at this point. We have come so far. At times I get so completely emotional when I realize how close to the edge I had come to losing everything important to me. My favorite aunt in the whole wide world once said to me as she was dying of breast cancer, "When you come to the edge of all you know, you'll either be given ground to stand on or wings to fly." I certainly have been given wings in the course of a year.

I hope by opening up about what I have been through can inspire someone else to stick it out and to get it right.

This Little Piggie

2010-05-07T10:26:00.001-07:00

Today Meric graduated from pre Pre-School. Yep, that would mean she had a graduation ceremony from her daycare. As cheesey as it is, I LOVED seeing my little piggie oink on stage. The whole theme of the program was "Down on the Farm" and it was absolutely precious.

My First Half Marathon

2010-03-08T07:20:00.001-08:00

I did it! I finished strong and now I've got the fever to train for the full marathon. Bridget and our friend Kate are going to try for the half next year. I think it's AWESOME! B toted the kids around to several stops along the way to cheer me on, which was excellent encouragement. There were SO many people there, which made it more exciting. I think I loved running past the Dugger family the most. A whole slew of them were volunteering, handing out water/gatorade, and picking up cups. I would do this race again.

Moosestache is a Classroom Winner!

2010-03-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

Breck is 6. He wants more than anything to be a man. He says he's going to have a beard and a mustache and talk with a deep voice. When he's a man he'll drive a truck and work at a computer and do paperwork. That's his dream for now. His school holds an annual contest, Book Character Dress Up Day. The kids are supposed to (as the name suggests) dress up as a book character. They are to use items around the house and purchase little or nothing to put their costumes together and more points are awarded for students whose costumes are self-designed and created rather than ones whose costumes were clearly put together by the parents (although parents *can* help). It's a fine line, really. When he chose Moostache as his book character, it was PERFECT for him because he really does wish he had a long mustache like the character. It was too cute! Breck would have gotten a blog about his costume anyway, but because he actually won for his classroom, that makes it even sweeter.

Sylamore

2010-02-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

Before the Sylamore 25K

So I got this wild hair that since I wasn't pregnant that I could go ahead and run the Little Rock half marathon in a couple of weeks. When I got to looking at the training schedule, I saw that I needed to have a longer run to be better prepared. This left the option of running the Sylamore 25K, and crazy-ass me decided I should do that run also. I have to say it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! I also was in no shape whatsoever to do this run (15.5 miles), considering the longest I had ever run before was a 10K (6.2 miles). Highlights include crossing the icy White River in not-quite-waist-high water TWICE, the amazing athletes that also embarked on this journey, and a breath taking experience of 3-4 HUGE deer crossing the trail path right in front of me! Nothing compares, though, to the thrill of having my whole family cheer me on as I crossed the finish line in 4 hours and 1 minute! Honestly, knowing that I would see them all at the end of the run gave me the strength I needed to complete the course. This was an amazing experience and I hope I get to do it again--in better shape, of course.

After the Sylamore 25K

Valentine's Banquet

2010-02-15T19:45:00.000-08:00

At Meric's daycare, they held a Valentine's Banquet. It was pretty cute. The kids all dressed up as formal as you'd expect for four-year-olds and had a dance. Meric's partner for the ball was her very best friend, Joshua. The whole event was fun to watch. After a slow dance they cranked up the music with an official DJ and the kids hopped around the only way small children know how to dance. It was hysterical!

Have You Seen the Camera Anywhere?

2010-02-10T09:15:00.000-08:00

Lately I'll go looking for the camera and find it in odd places--places I would never leave it. It might be on the couch, or the piano bench, or just resting on the stairs. When I go in and look at all the pictures, it becomes clear that we have a budding photographer in the family. Each child claims to be the guilty party because they're so proud of what they've captured. Here are just a few of their favorites.

Meric is 4!!

2010-02-10T08:15:00.000-08:00

Today is day three of no school due to snow/ice. I sent Meric to daycare with a tray of pink cupcakes today when B went to work. Breck is TOTALLY convinced that HE made is snow on Sunday night by flushing ice cubes, wearing his pajamas inside out and putting a spoon under his pillow. Whatever. He was very disappointed in himself when he realized Meric couldn't have her birthday party due to the weather.

We had made the infamous homemade birthday cake ahead of time. I wrote Happy Birthday in pink icing and when I proudly showed it to Meric, she said, "Awww! That's not my name!" So, I promptly scraped it all off and let her help me scrawl out MERIC. She LOVED it!

Her Ears are on My Heart

2009-04-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

I thought it was funny (and developmental) when Meric couldn't figure out to look "up" to find me at the top of the stairs. I also thought she was sort of funny when she would blurt out a phrase REALLY loud every now and then--especially in the car. But when Meric had difficulty locating me on the same floor of our house, that raised my suspicions and because she's now three, I know it's not "developmental". She didn't start talking as early as I thought she would. BUT, she has an older brother who can talk for her and she's a second child and the kids in her daycare class (many) speak English as a second language. I was told over and over not to worry. But I worried. Meric runs with her head down and falls easily. Almost once a week I get a call from the daycare that she has fallen or run into something and knocked a goober knot on her head. At her well child visit I talked with the pediatrician about my concerns. She said, too, not to worry. But I worried. We enrolled Meric in soccer which has been a godsend. She's a young three and our expectations are not high. But I began to notice things at games and practices...the coaches give an instruction and all the kids get up and leave. Meric stays on her ball. They repeat the instruction making eye contact and she follows their directions. When the coaches physically show her what to do, she's eager, but until then she's clueless. When they throw her ball out on the field for her to dribble back, she gets lost. When they call her name, she can't find them. That's was enough for me. I got her an appointment with an audiologist. Meric sat in my lap in the sound booth with her "helmet" (headphones) on and I could hear the doctor getting louder and louder, "Meric, what color are your shoes?" Nothing. "Meric, can you tell me what color your shoes are?" When the sound was so loud I could hear it plainly, Meric turned to me and said, "Lali, I not hear it." My stomach knotted as it was confirmed on Friday that Meric has almost total hearing loss in her left ear. I'm still in shock. I know more about hearing loss now than I ever thought I would need to know. But here's the thing...I show up Saturday to tell Meric's soccer coaches that Meric won't be able to find their voices and that I need them to look out for my little girl only to learn that three of the five coaches teach soccer at the local school for the deaf and they have already instructed the other coaches on how best to deal with her. What are the chances?! They made me feel like my little girl was going to be just fine...and she is. She is absolutely perfect. I placed a bright barrette in her hair over her good ear so that it's easier for her coaches to know which direction to talk to her. We've swapped sides of the car that the kids sit on so that her good ear is inside the car and not towards the window so she can be included in our conversations. I will be her advocate forever and I will never yell at her again when she can't find me in the house. I have held her more in the past two days than I have in a long time. I do not want her to feel sorry for herself, but until we have more answers, I am so sad for her. We are so lucky to have detected this early and that she has one perfectly good hearing ear.

Dying, Hiding, and Finding Eggs

2009-04-13T18:59:00.001-07:00

Fishing!

2009-04-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Rethinking My Passion

2009-03-14T17:41:00.001-07:00

I am an educator. I am very proud of being an educator. I come from a long line of public educators and I work hard to deliver instruction to students that is a cut above anything else they have ever received or will receive. In my current position I have revamped the technology curriculum at the elementary school where I teach. Instead of doing what every other school in our district does in the computer lab--electronic worksheets, essentially--I created a curriculum that starts with PreK students learning to alter text color, backgrounds, and inserting clip art to 5th grade students who powerfully blog about what they read and create multi-media projects on a whim. The school I teach in is AWESOME! It's a foreign language magnet school with a literacy curriculum that draws national attention (no lie) and a math curriculum that is being modeled across the district. It's the cleanest school I've ever been in and lately I've been in MANY. Why? Because my son is going to start Kindergarten in the fall and I have to get him into a good school. Here's the problem, he didn't get into the school where I work. He didn't get into our second choice, either. He's zoned to attend a school where he would be the only white kid. A school where we saw a drug dealer in the parking lot just today when driving around. That school is 2.2 miles from our house. Up the street is another wonderful school that has awesome parent support and is actually only .8 of a mile from our house. On a nice weather day, we could walk to school. We're not zoned for that school and I've been told they have only 1 student opening for a 3rd grader. Our third option is another magnet school. It's about 20 miles from my house. I can't get him to school on time and be at work on time myself. I've been told to put him on a bus. The neighborhood in which this magnet school is located is sketchy. In fact, I'd be concerned about PTA presentations in the evenings, even.

How am I supposed to go to my job day in and day out, pour my soul into my passion of educating kids, giving them the BEST education they can get in the district, yet my kids don't get the benefit? I have to send them to something less than that and be okay with that! I am furious. I cannot afford private education. I'm not about to send my kid to a parochial school and I'm at my wit's end. How do I look at my sweet boy each morning, drop him off at school and say, see ya after I finish teaching at my great school that you're being denied entrance because your name didn't come up in the lottery. I love you!

Here's my question. On the magnet school waiting list, we're #18 for our first choice and #40 for our second. Siblings get preference. If you have an older sibling already in the school, then younger siblings go higher on the wait list. How is having a sibling at the school any different from having a parent working at the school? And when my kids can't get in, how am I supposed to remain loyal to my job?

Fun at the Park

2009-02-19T06:48:00.000-08:00

We should have taken pictures yesterday since we got out to play and the weather was so AWESOME! They're calling for a wintery mix on Saturday. What's that all about? Here are a few images from one of our recent visits to a favorite park.

Bikes!

2009-01-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

Both kids got bikes for Christmas--Santa brought Breck a great orange bike that matches his dragon helmet and My Carolyn and Papa John got Meric a Big Wheel. To say they love their bikes is an understatement. Over the break we have gone on at least one bike ride each day and sometimes two. It's pretty cute!

No Nap for Meric

2009-01-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

National Boards are getting the best of me right now. It doesn't help that it is requiring 2 hours of my time each night to get Meric to bed...well, not to bed, but asleep. In an effort to recover National Board working time and not to lose it on a 2 year old, I've decided to alter my schedule to accommodate us both. If I'll just go ahead and go to bed when Meric does, then I won't be angry with her for preventing me from getting my work done. Plus, I'll have gone to bed early enough that I can get up at 4:00am and work for a couple of hours before kicking in gear to go to work.

I tried it this morning and it went just fine. I drank a pot of coffee and reread the standards (about 70 pages) for Entry 3. The kids were on the perfect schedule to get their naps on time and I was planning to work again through nap time. That was, until Meric entered the office, dropped a lap board from the chair onto my open laptop and busted the keys off.

Bridget the Awesome Great was calm and collected and continued to remind me, as I freaked out and cried, that I do have options. We have our desktop computer and I haven't lost any of my work. As the kids crawled into beds for nap, I got ready to work again...only no nap for Meric. What is up with this kid not sleeping? Is it developmental or is it intentional to drive me crazy!?

"No"hawk

2008-12-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

So we get the Parents of the Year award because when our 4 year old decided he needed a mohawk, we said, "Go for it." Did either of us really want him to have a mohawk? No. Was it worth the battle? No. It was fun for the one day that he liked it but I think he grew weary of the attention. After that he just wanted to wear it down. That means he looks like he's got a 1989 mudflap. Nicccce. And we can't get back into the beauty shop to get the rest of his hair cut until....you guessed it....after Christmas. It's all good and truly it's not THAT bad. So he "won" and now he's over it...so WE won. Like I said, Parents of the Year!

Why is the rum always gone?

2008-11-09T18:24:00.000-08:00

This weekend was AWESOME at the cabin. We traveled to my old stomping grounds for some relaxation with our bestest buds, the Joheims. And while they truly are our friends and not our relatives, Breck thinks Sydney is his cousin. Go figure.

Those two roamed around and explored everywhere their hearts took them. When Sydney showed back up at the cabin with an actual deer leg my first response was, "Where are your mothers?!" I'm know Breck was a little jealous but that subsided very quickly when he found a "coon" tail...really it was a squirrel tail. Oh yeah, good times! Syd was so funny about the doggone deer leg.

Breck: "You should give that back to the deer because you know it hurts to not have your leg."
Syd: "Breck, the deer is dead, he doesn't need this leg anymore."

We had lots of alcohol and Breck was thrilled to see that we (just the adults, no kids) were drinking Captain Jack Sparrow's favorite, rum. He loves the line in the movie, "Why is the rum always gone?" And then Jack stands up, swerves and says, "Oh, that's why."

When I felt hung over this morning and Jess had a belly ache and Bridget discovered that there was hardly a shot left in the bottle, well...oh, that's why.

A lot of great pictures were taken, just not by us. You'll have to check out the pics from the real photographer: Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Halloween

2008-11-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

We celebrate Hallween 365 days a year...well, maybe 364. Christmas morning gives us a break from Hallween, but the next day we're back at it. Hallween is Breck's all time favorite time of the year, so we have Hallween stuff going all the time. Usually it's just costumes. Breck does, however, discuss with one of us EVERY DAY what he's going to be for Hallween and we still never know what he'll be until he's actually in the costume. His mind changes every day. Here are some great pics from previous days and the actual day. We had a LOT of fun with the Joheims trick-or-treating around their neighborhood and then hanging out around the fire pit while our children became comotose on candy. Good times. Enjoy the pictures:

Wish I Had Something to Do

2008-11-02T06:26:00.001-08:00

We've been so super swamped with my National Boards, and B's PhD prgram, and kids that we seriously don't know if we're coming or going most of the time. Everything seems nonstop these days. Here's a snapshot from yesterday, the day after Halloween. We were in the car on going to pick up my car from the shop. In the span of one week we have spent $1000 on general car upkeep for two cars (break pads, oil changes, realignment, new shocks and struts, etc.). Meric has worn her Hallween costume as clothing for two days straight. There's something in the kitchen that stinks. It's either trash that needs to be taken out or it's dirty laundry waiting its turn to be washed. Breck hasn't bathed in three days and Meric has a chunk of candy in the back of her hair. There are dishes in the sink needing to be washed and everything in the house in a nasty mess. No one has eaten a truly healthy meal in days. B says I'm overexaggerating, but her threshhold for messineness is much stronger than mine. Breck didn't take a nap yesterday, which isn't a general problem. He ended up falling asleep in the car and went to bed for the night at about 5:30. Meric was in a pleasant mood and just chilled out watching television. We all got something to eat, the dishes got washed, the laundry got started, the trash taken out, Halloween decorations started to come down, the house got in better state. Meric ate Mac and Cheese and then retired to the play room while B and I, get this, actually watched television! Our new season of The L Word came in the mail and we actually got to watch it. All is good now. Messy house and all.

Costumes and a Little Dignity Anyone?

2008-09-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we know no one reads our blog because we never blog. We read everyone else's blog, but we never seem to add to our own.

Meric is driving me absolutely bananas! I can't get clothes on her in the mornings...she wants to wear costumes to school. I really don't care if she wears a Uniqua costume, but without panties!? Come on! It took TWO ADULTS to dress that child this morning. By the time I got her to daycare she was still trying to catch her breath, her hair was all over the place and she had snot all over her face. Nice. Good times, good times.

Breck, willing to sacrifice a little dignity to make the girls laugh had a great day this week at school. His teachers made a comment that he had been playing with the pom-poms at recess. He insisted that he had been playing with the "tam-poms." Then realizing he was missing one, shouts out, "I dropped one of my tam-poms!" What a kid. At least he's willing to get dressed in the mornings.

I'd take any suggestions for a tantrum-throwing-2-year-old who can undress herself as quickly as I can dress her.

Sleeping giant roars

2008-08-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

It’s my turn (B’s) and I have had it!

I realize that if you are reading this blog then you likely are already part of the “choir”, so let me just use this forum as a warm-up exercise. That annoying dimwit group called “Our Family Up Your Ass” (or something like it) has successfully gathered enough signatures to get their adoption ban amendment on the ballot for the November election in Arkansas. This amendment says that if you are not glowingly straight with perfect teeth and part of a marriage legally recognized in all 50 states then you are not qualified to adopt children who are in desperate need of a loving home. Somehow their logic follows that if you happen to be “unmarried” and you will abstain from sexual relations, then they will approve of your adoption. Basically, Catholic priests qualify, which should scare the begeshies out of folks, but the moms living in the Big Green House and our network of loving parents do not. Hell, even my straight Mom who maintains a house full of foster kids would not be able to adopt any of her kids should she get a boyfriend.

This certainly is another attack on the gay and lesbian-headed families across the state. They have gone even further to pull the well-being of vulnerable children into their web of hate-filled bigotry acts. Absolutely sickening is what it is!

If “Family in the Ass” wants a fight, they got one from me. For every punch there is a counter punch, and I am gearing up for the counter punch. Not only should we oppose this amendment, but we should push for equitable rights for our families. Here is what I would like to see happen immediately:
1) I want Second Parent Adoptions in the state so that I can legally adopt Meric and Holcomb can legally adopt Breck without either of us giving up our rights as birth mothers.
2) I want “family status” through our work benefits, so that my family is just as protected and cherished as my co-workers’ families.
3) I want equitable civil rights and social recognition for anyone who decides to partner with someone they love.

Arkansas Family First (love how they stole the name from the conservatives) is spearheading some efforts to fight the adoption ban. I just signed up with them, so I am probably behind on some of the efforts already in place. Those who know more than me, please share your information. See you on battlefield…
-Bridget
(fade away to Melissa’s ‘Giant’ playing in the background….)

Racoons and Rascals

2008-08-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

On Friday we had a racoon in our backyard that was driving our dogs crazy. We kept bringing the dogs inside thinking the varment would leave while the gettin' was good. No such luck. Bridget called the animal control people who returned the phonecall MONDAY saying they were at our house and where was the racoon. Bridget said, "Hell! I don't know! I called you three days ago." That wasn't as good as the comment made to the private critter ridder company who wanted to charge $400 to rid us of the racoon. "Damn! My bullet isn't going to cost me $400." It's gone and it's a lucky critter because she and our neighbor were ready to shoot it. We think it was sick. I'm glad it ran away because God only knows what would have happened to the carcass or the bullet. I'm just glad we didn't have to start a round of rabies shots on anyone.

Just as exciting as a rabid racoon in the yard, Breck started Pre-K this week. I was expecting a nice picture of him with his hair all slicked down in his crispy-new uniform standing in front of the fire place. Didn't happen. Mr. GQ wanted his own photo shoot so that's what we got. A cowlick headed four-year-old posing around the sun room. He LOVED his first day and seems to really like his "big" school. He came home with a "Take Home" folder with his name on it. Only he didn't want to share what was in the folder because, quite clearly, HIS name was on the folder and not ours, so why on earth would WE, his parents, need HIS folder?! Geez! We haven't even started "real" school yet and already he's acting like a hormonal teenager. What can we expect for middle school?

Keeping Up

2008-08-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm so behind on blogging that no one is going to look at my blog anymore if I don't do something to update it. We're ARE, however, completely nuts. Bridget begins her PhD program on Monday, Breck starts "big school" on Monday, the students arrive at school for Holcomb on Monday, Bridget starts teaching on Monday, Meric begins her new class at day care on Monday and Holcomb is attempting National Boards. Is it any wonder that we can't blog. For crying out loud, we're hardly sleeping before we have to go work. We just aren't any fun. We'll work on that though. Thank GOD we're not home with a four-year-old, a set of 1-year-old twins, and a set of newborn twins trying to breast feed, like some other bloggers we know.

You Have My Money, You Might As Well Have My Name

2008-08-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

We've made the decision to legally change mine and Meric's last names to be the same as Breck and Bridget. I gave this considerable thought and decided I liked the idea of linking us all as a single unit...however "hetero" it may be. :) Breck is really excited and so am I. Tomorrow is my first day back at work from summer break and I'll have to let my boss know that I'll be going by a new last name. It should be an interesting transition since I've gone by two different first names in my lifetime. I lived all my life as Laura before going to college where I briefly coexisted with another Laura P. We both decided to go by our middles names since our records were forever being mixed up. So, to everyone I met prior to college I am Laura. To all others I am Holcomb. Now? Whatever. How many combinations can one person have? Bridget in her odd little way is likely to call me up tomorrow at work to say she has a spread sheet to determine all the possible ways my name could be listed. (She's a number cruncher, but we don't hold that against her.) When I ran the idea by Bridget her response was, "Well, you have my money, you might as well have my name." So true! :)

Oh What Lungs Hath She!

2008-07-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

Earilier this week Bridget and I made the decision to turn off the television for one whole entire day in an effort to break the t.v. addiction in our 2-year-0ld. It seems insane that a 2-year-old can be addicted to anything, but she really is. Only I had no idea how badly things had gotten out of control with her.

In the one day detox, Meric learned to play! The child literally had not been playing and I had no idea!!! She likes to put figurines in vehicles and make the "go". She LOVES Potato Heads and she even pretended to care about a baby doll. These are all activities that I have not seen her do with any kind of interest or for any recognizable length of time. I'm really pleased with our decision to cut the screen time. Now we're letting the kids watch two shows a day. Typically this means they each get to pick one. I've set the limit to one in the morning and one after nap time. The best part is that they haven't asked to see as much t.v. and they're really only getting in one video a day. This is a huge improvement. But, back to what I eluded to earlier, we had no idea how bad things were with Meric and her addiciton.

In addition to television, Meric also LOVES to go to bed with her brother's Leapster handheld game. I've not thought much about it until last night when she crawled in bed with us in the middle of the night and brought the game with her. I woke up to her playing the frickin game!!! I think she played the game all night. Has she been doing this for weeks?! Is that why she's so off schedule and tired!? What kind of mothers are we!? So we decided to get the Leapster out of Meric's site so that it didn't become an issue at night. Who wants a head-on opposition struggle at bed time, right? Well, Breck was playing the game and Meric wanted a turn (all right before bed time). They each have a turn but Meric refuses to cough up the machine when it's time to go upstairs to bed. When I took the game from her and hid it, she threw a massive tantrum which we both expected. Meric has a screem that could be bottled and sold for the movies. When she let out her usual blood curling scream of frustration, she actually set off the glass break detectors on our alarm system and had it blaring across the neighborhood. That's 0ur girl! Oh what lungs she has!

Power Tools for Treefory???

2008-07-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

Finally, it’s my turn to blog! Holcomb is our primary blogger. I’ll make a guest appearance every once in while just to keep a balanced perspective going.

I want to start by applauding all parents who stay at home and tend to small children, including my own spouse who has kept our kids at home during her summer break. You have my ultimate respect and admiration! One evening this week, I was unexpectantly left at home with our 2 munchkins, and well… I completely lost control of the whole household. It just amazes me how quickly a normal, loving parent can lose control over their own 4- and 2-year olds. Obviously, I have not spent enough alone time with our children to be conditioned to handle these moments. On this particular evening, I finally was at a point where I needed a “shock-value” activity, so I took them outside in the front yard and let them “trim” the over-grown bushes with the electric bush trimmer. It did work as far as briefly entertaining them, especially for Breck who loves tools and anything that might be considered a real “guy thing”.

Yeah, I know… who gives their kids power tools as a playtime activity? That whole evening has certainly made me question my parental patience and skills. Most troublesome for me is the fact that I have let our household discussions move toward having another child. Could I manage additional children by myself? What would those home-alone-with-3-kids-evenings be like?

This whole 3rd child syndrome is running rampant in our house, and it’s my fault. We had our friends, Meredith and Jess, over for dinner a couple of weeks ago along with their 2 adorable daughters. Their youngest, Layne, and I had a bonding moment where we were playing with some decorative deer statues… she giggled, gave me a big-ole smile and completely melted my heart. “Oh, wouldn’t it be nice to have another little baby.”

Later, I shared this experience with Holcomb and that’s all it took for the flood waters to pour …. oh, she already has a name if it’s a girl…. oh, when is the best time for her to get pregnant again (no one will allow me to be pregnant… apparently, I wasn’t a very good pregnant lady the first time)…. oh, this is so exciting… oh, she has always wanted a house full of kids… oh, she says I get to name a boy baby! Even Breck has gotten into the hulla-ba-loo! He not only wants a new baby, but he wants 2 new babies and he wants them named Markory (the boy baby) and Treefory (the girl baby). If for some reason we can only get one baby he wants Treefory.

Really!? I never realized that I was the huge barrier to our family feeling complete. I knew Holcomb would be overjoyed with another child, but we always felt so fortunate to have the 2 beautiful kids that we have. Will more children mess up our relationships with the 2 we have? Will Breck be ok if he isn’t the only alpha-male in the house? Will Meric feel forgotten as the middle child? Will a new baby be able to keep up with all our plans of adventures to exotic places?

I know we likely won’t go backwards on this 3rd child movement. I do have to get to a point where I am comfortable with multi-tasking, multi-kids. In the mean time, I think I will schedule more date nights with just me and the kids.

-B

A Day at the Lake

2008-07-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

We spent a long day at Lake DeGray with Bridget's dad, and sister's family. We got some really great pictures. Our nephew, Luca, made his first efforts to ski and did a great job! Ike (nephew) ate food under the picnic table, Meric fell over in the boat and bruised her face. Breck played "pirate falling off the boat" for a long, long time in the water and Bird (nephew) was content to just be in the water as much as possible. I think almost everyone took a turn hanging out in the hammock. The burgers were great and the company was even better. What a great summer day.
Meric came out of the water at one point bare bottomed. I asked her what happened to her underwear and she told me, "I knee know", completely baffled. Then she shouted out really loudly, "Punna-wear! Are you?"

Breck expended a LOT of energy at the lake. He was asleep before we pulled away!

The cousins enjoyed a day together.

If Ike wasn't eating today, he was swimming. Often he was trying both at the same time.

Oh Crepe!

2008-07-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

Even though there has only been one other post on this blog to date, Bridget and I have a new quote that gets said a lot, but not necessarily acted upon: "That' SO going on the blog!" Well, this is SO going on the blog now. The other night...Wednesday to be exact, the stars were not lined up for us to get along. It was a pretty stupid argument in retrospect. I wanted to go to the pool, Bridget didn't, the kids had been begging. I wanted us to go as a family, Bridget somehow thought I didn't and a lot of feelings were hurt during the block of miscommunication. I had the children suited for the pool when I get a phone call to return home so we could "visit"...feelings had already been hurt apparantly. Not wanting to miss the prime time for swimming, we turn back around from the daycare and head home...to "visit". Ultimately, after many appologies, it was decided that we would go to the pool. Now starts the fun!

We have these crepe myrtle trees that line the curb in front of our house. We hate them. We love crepe myrtles, but these are really in the way. They block our view, it messes up the parking because you end up IN the trees. We really, really hate them. When we got ready to go to the pool, I had already packed dinner and everything...towels, toys, pool bags etc. When I had to come back to the house, Bridget had already parked in the driveway. (We have to park one behind the other...mostly because of the fricking crepe myrtles.) I parked behind her. She loaded the children into her vehicle, rather than mine. It infuriated me. Now I had to move my car into the crepe myrtle parking lot AND UNLOAD EVERYTHING I HAD JUST PACKED! Why didn't we just go in MY car? In my fit of rage where I'm upset about having to come back to the house, make appologies, reload the children (no easy feat), AND unload my car and then MOVE IT, I drove into the doggone trees! Even after getting back from our snowcone frolic, I was in a much better disposition, because of how I had parked my car originally, I took out a HUGE portion of one of the crepe myrtles. While neither of us is pleased that my car is scratched up I can't help but feel that Bridget sort of smirks inwardly as she sees what a lesson on managing my temper I must have learned. Whatever. I am ticked that I scratched up my car, but I'm not sorry I tore up the tree.

To Blog or Not to Blog...

2008-07-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess "to blog" since here I am looking at my first ever blogging experience. The kids are with their grandparents and we spent the evening discussing whether or not to blog. Stupid, I know.

So what's a parent to do when her kids are out of the house/hair for the night? Not as easy as one would think! First of all my parents were supposed to pick the kids up from the t-ball party at the local pizza joint at 6:30. At 6:50 they pull up....ahhh...Dad's driving. You would think this would be okay. Only it makes my partner and me have instant, spontaneous, explosive diarhea. Why? My dad can't drive. There's a story in there about a trip home from the airport when he nearly ran someone off the road, had no idea why they would honk at him and didn't believe us when we told him he had caused it. I had to talk us both down out of a frenzy of worry by pointing out that it was probably good that my mom wasn't driving becuase my dad would at least tune the kids out and my mom would be playing and interacting with the kids all the way home....she would do this if she were driving too, so by not driving they were probably safer. We still worry though, because my mom has that gene where no matter what, some freak accident occurs. I pray that this time no one is seriously injured. The last time she came over to our house she sat down in a chair with Meric and somehow threw her out of the chair and over a lamp and couldn't figure out how it had happened. There was also the time when we "lost" Meric at my mom's house only to find her fully clothed running hot water into the swimming pool-sized bathtub. Oh yes! A night without the kids. This should be fun and relaxing.